Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest


Your Dollar Will Stretch ‘till it Screams in Delight
DMR Gives Dead Man’s Chest an A

Sometime during a fantastic three-way sword duel (a ‘triuel’?) it became clear that Dead Man’s Chest is more than a mere billion-dollar blockbuster, it’s a ripsnorter of a swashbuckler. A breathless rock’em sock’em three-hour thrill ride.

I don’t remember ever seeing a ‘triuel,’ but it isn’t the novelty that makes that scene (and others) so memorable. Instead the triuel moves in and out of the foreground pulsing with energy and finding new ways and places for the three to clash swords while spilling out laughs all along the way.

Dead Man’s Chest is much better than the first POTC, but also less satisfying. After all, the movie has to get us from POTC 1 to POTC 3. So you can count on a cliffhanger just as you’re wondering how it can possibly be resolved. Unlike POTC 1 there’s a real… if twisty… plot in Dead Man’s Chest and the stunts and laughs don’t all rely on Johnny Depp’s considerable appeal this time around.

The story brings back all the familiar characters: Capt. Jack Sparrow (Depp) Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), Norrington (Jack Davenport), Governor Weatherby Swann (Jonathon Pryce), and Ragetti (Mackenzie Crook).

The movie opens with Elizabeth being stood up at the altar. Her affianced, Will, has been arrested by Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander), a new character with no apparent scruples. The arrest turns out to be a matter of leverage. The real object is Capt. Jack, or rather the compass around Jack’s neck.

Meanwhile, Capt Jack is dealing with troubles of an otherworldly nature. Bootstrap Bill… Will’s un-dead father (Stellan Skarsgard)… delivers a startling message to Capt. Jack from the no-less-un-dead Davey Jones; pay up or join the crew of Jones’s ship, the Flying Dutchman. It seems Capt. Jack had made a devil’s bargain with Davey Jones (Bill Nighy) 10 years before to raise the Pearl. As Bill leaves, a sore appears on Jack’s hand. A walking death is stalking the wily Capt. Jack and even he might not be able to wangle his way free.

Davy Jones and all his unfortunate minions are gruesome characters, part sea creatures, part human, and no longer subject to the constraints of mortality. Jones has a beard of sea anemones that along with the rest of his face was entirely computer generated. Such creations can be rather soulless, but between the animators and Nighy’s performance, Davey Jones seems as real as a dead man with sea anemones growing on his face could be.

Is it worth your dollar? I would have paid full price to see POTC: Dead Man’s Chest.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest is rated PG-13 for “intense sequences of adventure violence, including frightening images.”

DMR grades Dead Man’s Chest an A.

The Dollar Movie Review Grading System: The Dollar Movie Review grades on a curve. Movies that make choices to be course or vulgar are downgraded a full to a half grade or more. Likewise, movies that don’t gross out or offend too much can be upgraded as ‘a thanks for trying’ attaboy. Dead Man’s Chest was downgraded. I would have given it an A+ except that it is too violent and too intense for young children. So don’t bring them. The crew of the Flying Dutchman may also be too ghastly for children and others. My wife is convinced her parents would find it so.

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